Differences...

Men and women obviously, have the physical differences, but it goes so much more deeper than that.  Their brain is NOT wired like ours.  I have been married for almost 39 yrs., which to you young people, seems like an eternity.  Trust me, I still remember like it was yesterday, going on my first date with Rich.  I know you have heard it before, but it bears repeating...Life is short, so dance a little and make love alot.  You are old so much longer than you are young.  Getting back on topic now, Rich is a real man's man.  His idea of thoughtful and mine, are two different things.  Like take for example, he will do something for me, but in reality, he benefits from it.  For my birthday one year, he got me a birthday cake from Costco.  As you know, anything from Costco is supersized.  We weren't having a party or anything for my birthday, just the kids were coming over.  He bought a sheet cake that feeds like 40 people, but that's not the kicker.  He bought carrot cake, which just happens to be HIS favorite, not mine or anyone elses.  We had carrot cake around for over a week.  I enjoy a good back rub, but I discovered that Rich really doesn't like to give back rubs that much.  Over a period of several years, every year for Christmas, I would open a present and there would be this vibrator thing.  The first time he gave me one, I acted like I liked it, but took it back and got something I really wanted.  The next Christmas, sure enough, I got another one, but this one was supersized.  Apparently he thought I took the other one back because it wasn't BIG enough.  Well, I took that one back too.  Then on a trip to Las Vegas, he buys this gigantic huge thing you put in a chair.  What part of vibrating, massaging thing, doesn't he get?  I hate it...but I love him for trying.  I should have known I was in for trouble.  Our first Christmas as husband and wife set the tone.  I got him a watch.....he got me a statue of a glass fish.  This however, I have learned to love over the years and I count as one of my cherished things.
   Men get ready to go someplace completely different than women.  A woman will start the week before the big event, and maybe a month or more before, just searching for the perfect outfit and shoes.  A man will just wear his black dress pants and a shirt and tie.  The ritual for a woman goes all the way to her toes.  She will get a pedicure and manicure, where a man will just take a hack saw to his nails twice a year.  Next comes getting the hair under control.  The eyebrows, mustache hair and chin hair need to be waxed and of course the legs need to be shaved.  For Rich, he just shaves his head and calls it done.  Getting our hair perfect is next to impossible, not only do we have to worry about the haircut, but the hair color.  A man only has to shower.  Why is it that men always think we get turned on by the "woo hoo" when they get out of the shower?  That hasn't work in 20 yrs....The final preparation is the make-up...numerous creams, foundation, concealer, powder, blush, eye liner, eye shadow, mascara and the final touch...lip gloss.  For a man, deodorant and maybe some cologne.  Ah yes, the differences....there are so many.  Love story versus action adventure movie.  Sitcom versus sportcenter...The one thing that I have learned over the past 40 yrs is that the secret to a happy marriage involves two things....Acceptance and compromise.  If you can accept that there are differences and compromise on the big dicisions in your life, than you have the ingredients for a happy marriage.  I'm sure Rich has just as many stories on me...believe me, I'm not easy to live with, but we have learned to accept the things we can't change and enjoy each other for who we are.

Do you Spanx?

I'm sitting here in my chair with my trusty lap top watching "The Talk".  Jennifer Love Hewitt is on and the girls are talking about Spanx. It reminded me of my experience with Spanx.  Granted, this torturious apparatus does make you look good, but comfortable it is NOT.  I'm not proud of this, but since I am talking about Spanx, I have to tell my story.  I went to the department store and bought some Spanx.  I bought the size recommended on the package for height and weight.  I was going to a fancy wedding and wanted to look, well, like I used to.  The day of the party gets here and I performed all the usual preparations us women have to do to make ourselves presentable.  Meanwhile, Rich is just relaxing.  He waits til the last 15 minutes, jumps in the shower, gives me a woo hoo, shaves, puts his clothes on and out the door he goes.  Hair is done, make-up is applied and now it is time to Spanx myself.  I open the box and take out something that looks like Karaline could wear it.  I swear it is so tiny, my arm would probably have a tight squeexe.  I commit to it, because I have spent the $40 on it and dang it, I want to look good.  I begin the struggle and I do mean struggle.  I twisted and pulled and twisted and pulled, well to make a long story short....I threw my back out.  I felt something twang in my back and that was it.  I could barely move.  Being that I am a vein woman though, I thought it was nothing and still preceded to pull it on.  My back did not completely tighten up until we got to the wedding.  I was moving, but not gracefully.  I prayed I did NOT have to pee.  Rich might have to get involved for that.  I made it through the wedding, but the reception was pretty painful.  I eventually, of course, had to pee, so when I couldn't take it any longer, I told Rich we HAVE to go home....NOW!  He thought he was gonna get lucky when I asked him to help me off with the Spanx....not tonight dear....just get me a flexerall and a naoproxen and let me lay down in my bed.  I have not wore the Spanx since that fateful night.  I suffered with back spasms for about a week.  To answer the question:  NO, I DO NOT SPANX

Relationships...

I picked Karaline up from pre-school yesterday.  I used to do this all the time, but now that Regan is a stay at home Mom, she does it.  Ever since Karaline turned five, I have noticed that we have lost our little toddler girl.  She acts so grown up now.  She is a complete girly girl.  She plays with Barbie and the Princesses so much.  She also watches all the Princess movies from Disney and also Barbie movies.  I have never seen her watch an adult movie or a regular TV show, so it is so interesting when she wants us to play Barbie.  We have to be Ken and she is Barbie or the Princess.  The playing always has lots of kissing involved.  She has recently asked her Mom about kissing boys.  Should we not let her watch the Princess movies?  Every Princess movie involves a big kiss in someway.  She apparently has a little boy in pre-school that she likes.  I'm just waiting for the teacher to tell Regan that Karaline is kissing him.   She is such a pretty little girl, so I've got a feeling Regan will have her hands full...LOL!
   I met a dear friend last night.  She's a lovely young lady that I used to work with.  I could easily be her Mom, but our age difference never made a difference in our realtionship.  We are so much alike.  I haven't seen her in quite a few years, but because of Facebook, we have gotten close again.  I have renewed so many relationships with old friends.  Some I have not seen or spoken to in 40 yrs.  I even recently got hooked up with a cousin of mine on my Mom's side of the family, that I haven't spoken to in 20 some years.  What a wonderful thing Facebook is.  It is the bridge that so many people would never have the opportunity to cross without it.  I'm sure many of you have the same stories about renewed relationships.  I hope I am one of your stories.  Relationships are such complicated things.  I count my blessins that my kids and I have married our soulmates.  I know several people right now that are struggling with their relationships.  Your relationship is like dominos.  Each will have spots, some will have more spots than others.  When stacked up end to end as life goes on, you have to realize that it is a balancing act of emotions, when one tumbles, they all go down.  If you choose to get a different domino, you will find that it has the same spots and will tumble just the same.  Maybe playing cards would be safer....whatever game you play, just make sure you play fair and don't cheat and realize, its the only game in town that means anything.  I wish for all of you love, a safe haven and hope for the future.
  
 

Things that make me crazy 2 ....

It's kinda nice that I'm writing this blog, now if I have something that drives me crazy, I can vent about it here on my blog.  I recently saw a commercial for "Pajama Jeans".  I watched the whole thing, thinking surely they will convince me that this is a good thing, but they didn't.  The model that was wearing them didn't even look good in them.  Now if you were pregnant, they might be pretty comfortable, but if you are wearing them to look good, think again.  I am sure I will see someone at Walmart walking around in them with a tight hooded sweatshirt and furry boots.  One of the selling points was that you could sleep in them too.  Just what I wanted, blue jeans that make me look fat, that I can wear to bed.  Like I said, I am not that old, I still care about the curb appeall.  I'm thinking I may be watching too much television, because I saw another toilet paper commercial that made me nuts.  This time it is Northern Ultra Strength.  Apparently, if you use this extra strength toilet tissue, it will improve your sex life, or at least that is what it implied.  Why is it that they just can't sell toilet paper that is soft.  My paper need only be soft, I don't even care how strong it is, because fortunately for me, I get the job done with moderately strong paper and everything gets taken care of.  However, if I find out that this extra strength toilet paper does do something for the libido, I will give it a try.  I just hope they have instruction on exactly what I do to achieve this.  I have seen the promos for this new show on MTV called Skins.  It is geared to the younger teen crowd in High School.  It is said to be soft kid porn.  Oh my gosh, how can this even be on TV.  Just the promos of this show make me blush, so I can only imagine how bad the show is.  I bet this will be another big hit like Jersey Shore is.  The young people of today will be running the country in another 20 yrs.  I can only hope that there is enough kids out there with parents that care, that our morals in this country will still be there.  Well, now that I got that off my chest...I think I feel better, at least until I see something else that makes me crazy.....

To shave or not to shave....

I was talking to a friend of mine lately and somehow the topic came around to shaving your legs.  She confessed to me that in the winter, she didn't shave her legs.  She said it kept her legs warmer.  I really didn't know what to say to that, but what I was thinking was...for crying out loud, how long is the hair on your legs anyway?  I have to admit, I have been known to let them go a few days without a trim, but I apparently am not that old, I still care about the curb appeal.  Maybe that is the last frontier to your youth.  I used to shave my legs every other day.  Is there an age, a number, where you just quit altogether?  Just in case, I am going to buy myself some knee socks.  Shaved or not shaved, at least you don't have to see them and you'll be warm.  Hair becomes a pretty dominant feature in a woman's and a man's life the older you get.  For women, the decline of our hormones signal, for some reason, the hair to sprout out of your chin.  I remember the first hair on my chin.  I was mortified and quickly tweezed it, thinking, there its gone, won't have to deal with that again.  Well, that was wrong.  I apparently made it mad and it brought friends.  Over the years I have had several treatments to rid myself of my little friends, but they always come back after so long.  I have accepted them and now it is just part of the ritual of getting ready for bed.  Rich and I both have magnifying glasses mounted on the wall by our sinks.  He takes care of his ears and nose and I take care of my chin.  All I know is that age brings wisdom and yes it also brings some other things that aren't so much fun, but it also brings a lifetime of memories.  I still have alot of life to live, but I am a work in progress. 

A work in progress...

Thank you everyone for your positive feedback on ac-cep-tace.....We all want to be accepted, hopefully for who we are and not for the facade we sometimes put on.  I am learning, slowly and sometimes painfully, that I need to accept the person I am, that I am the BEST that I am ever gonna be and that I can't please everyone. 
    On a lighter note....Rich read my blogs last night....he wants me to clear up something.  My blog about things that make me crazy needs a footnote:  Rich does not need viagra nor has he ever taken a viagra.  Now, that I have cleared that up, I can go back to my marital bliss.  LOL!  I have however, seen him use the face cream...LOL! (sorry honey)
   I had a really good topic for today that I thought about when I was in bed last night...but its lost in the great abyss of my brain for now.  I guess I will have to take a pen and pad to bed with me.  This memory thing is driving me crazy.  I'll want to remember something and then I only get bits and pieces of it.  I will remember the face of the person, the show they were in, the other people in the show with them, but the name of that person will not appear.  The other day in a store I ran into somebody that apparently knew me and by the way she was talking, she knew me quite well.  I couldn't even concentrate on what she was saying because all I was doing is thinking, ok now, does she work at my bank, did I work with her at Chilis, maybe a store, is she a neighbor, oh lordy, who the hell is she?  I tried to carry on a nice conversation best I could, but we parted our ways and I still don't know who the heck she is.  Bottom line, if I ever run into any of you in a store and I have a puzzled look on my face, I'm scanning my brain to try to figure out who you are.  Oh the joys and pitfalls of menopause...Keep warm today....its a stay at home and stalk your friends on Facebook kind of day.....love you guys!

Acceptance

ac-cep-tance =  the condition of being accepted or acceptible
    As children, we struggle with fitting in.  Always wanting our peers to accept us or trying to change so they will.  As adults, we search for someone to accept us as we are and to love us unconditionally.  In my life, this is the one thing that I did right.  I found my soul mate early on and knew from our first date, that I was going to marry him.  It's amazing how things that happen to you in your childhood still play out all through your life.  Raising children is such a challenge.  We want to protect them, but once they go to school, that protective bubble you put them in, is broken.  All you can do is make sure they feel the acceptance at home and love them unconditionally. The truth is, I still struggle with acceptance, not from Rich, but just from life in general.  I always felt like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole.  I'm just wondering, at what age do you stop caring what other people think?  This blog is a big step for me.  I have always loved to write and expressing myself.  Those of you who are going on this journey with me, I thank you.  I'm hoping by blogging my feelings about all my crazy thoughts, I will build some acceptance and start to like who I am.  I think alot of people out there struggle with acceptance.  That is why drugs and alcohol are so prominent in our society.  Fortunately, I get drunk and throw up after the third drink.  The reason I am talking about acceptance today is because I feel it touches our lives everyday, even if we don't realize it.  For me, this is therapy and I am, and probably always will be....a work in progress.


I wrote this a couple days ago and I struggled with whether I should post it...kinda funny...I worried about what people would think.  Somebody from my High School, recently touched my life in a very positive way.  She probably doesn't even know she did.  She was older than me and was a cheerleader..  I thought she was just beautiful and so cool.  I never thought she even knew who I was, but she contacted me and made me realize that I'm ok...and maybe I'm not so square afterall.  If she reads this, I hope she knows that even small things sometimes make the biggest difference in someones life.  ac-cep-tance:  the condition of being accepted.....

I don't want to grow up....

I had an interesting conversation with my 5 yr. old granddaughter recently.  We were talking and I made a comment, "just wait til you grow up".   She immediately comes back with, "I don't want to grow up."  I asked her why, and she says in such a matter of factly way, "because it doesn't look like that much fun."  What do you say after that?  Actually, I couldn't say anything for a little while, because I was laughing so hard.  I wish I could keep her a little girl forever, but eventually she will grow up and be faced with all the decisions you will have to make in your life.  Choosing wisely in the beginning, makes things so much easier.  Just ask my kids.  I had a very good conversation this morning on Facebook.  I got in on a conversation about the TV show Parenthood.  Someone asked me what I thought about the storyline playing out right now concerning Haddie, a 16 yr. old girl.  She thinks she is in love with a 19 yr. old boy.  Now that in itself is a problem, but this boy is also a recovering alcoholic and lives on his own in an apt.  Her parents on the show have forbidden her to see him.  Of course, she does not like this and is sneaking around to still see him.  It was interesting to hear all the different opinions on this.  It was so obvious who the older person was, because all the rest of the women were young and thought the parents were being totally irrational and we should trust our children until they give us something to not trust them.  I said nothing good could come from a 16 yr. old dating a 19 yr. with an apt.  If we trust them until they give us reason to not trust them, we just have to hope that consequence doesn't need childcare.  Its a slippery slope, raising children.   I think my little Karaline had the right idea, just stay a kid...its alot more fun!

Some sagging parts....

Since my blog is called Young at heart with some sagging parts, I thought these photos were appropriate.  These were taken on our last cruise with our good friends Ken and Peg.

Things that make me crazy...

Watching the news this morning, I got my first topic for today.  They just gave a recall of a candy bar.  It's called Nuclear Sludge chew bar.  It has high levels of lead in it.  OMG!  First of all, who gives a kid a candy bar called that and secondly, how did it make it to the consumers in the first place.  I'm betting it's an import from China.  The toys from China have lead so why not the children's candy bars.
   Lots of things make me crazy, like Sarah Palin, Viagra, Snookie and Charmin Toilet Tissue.  You are probably thinking, what could Charmin do to make me crazy.  Has anyone seen their commercial that has these two bears with bits of paper stuck to their butts?  Well, the advertising catch is if you use Charmin ultra strong, you won't have bits of paper on your butt.  For crying out loud, if you have problems with this, THIS is NOT your biggest problem.  I am a Republican, but Sarah Palin is not helping the party.  I am not going to talk politics in my blog, but this is in my "crosshairs".  Viagra, the miracle little pill for men and the worst thing that ever happened for menopausal women.  Think about it, you have a 50 something man who is not growing old gracefully.  He has a little performance problem, so he goes to the Dr. and gets a prescription.  His wife is going through menopause and is dealing with insomnia, hot flashes and a low libido from lack of hormones.  Now she has to deal with a husband with a new found toy, WOOD.  What results is, the husband trades his 50 something wife in for one 30 yrs. younger.  She is left alone and heartbroken in her golden years.  How is Viagra a good thing?  If they had a pill for the woman to increase her libido to match her husband, is the only way it could be a good thing.  Snookie, white trash that we have made a millionaire.  She is such a disaster and the worst role model for our young girls.  These are the things that make me crazy...at least this morning.   Have a good day people!  

A day off...

I have a day off today...and I am going to catch up on alot of things I have been wanting to do.  I have been thinking alot about what I am going to write today.  I have to tell what Rich did.  Yesterday, he brings out this tub of face cream.  It's called Hydroxatone.  He apparently ordered this off of an advertisement on the radio...who does this?  He has 3 jars of this stuff.  I'm not sure how I should take this.  Apprarently, he thinks I need this miracle face cream...but I have known him for almost 50 yrs. now and since one of the jars of face cream is on his sink, I think he just might have bought it for himself too.  Is it possible that men worry about getting wrinkles too?  Now, he would never admit to this, but this just proves my belief....getting old SUCKS!!!  I will let you guys know if we become better looking after using this cream...LOL!
The one thing that I do like about the age that I am, is that I am not so fixated on my weight like I used to be.  I stepped on the scale every morning.  If my weight was where I wanted it to be, I pretty much ate what I wanted, but if I was up a pound or two, I would not eat that much that day.  I haven't stepped on the scale for over a year.  It is so nice to just eat what I want when I want it.  I have finally accepted this new body I have acquired.  I just recently went through all my clothes and got rid of about 80% of them.  I will never be a 4 or a 6 again.  My daughter-in-law Amber, went through my old clothes and liked quite a few of them.  As we were going through them, we had a good laugh...some of these clothes were....well let's just say "Hoochie Momma"  In my defense, I wore them well and we went on lots of cruises and business trips, so I always tried to look good.
    My last thought for you today is this, love yourself, no matter what you look like.  Enjoy your youth, it passes by so quickly.  You are old so much longer than you are young, so get your SEXY ON!!!

The way we were...

I watched The Way We Were yesterday and it got me thinking.  Its so easy to dwell on what was, but what about what is?  How I am now is the BEST I am ever going to be, so why not make the most of this day.  Oh, I will still complain about it, but if you look at it like that, I'm actually better off than I thought.  I hope I will eventually get a real mixture of followers, some old, some young.  My purpose in writing this blog is to leave a diary of my thoughts for my grandkids to read someday.  I have learned alot of things in my life and I hope in a small way, I might help someone get through this maze of life.  Things I know for sure in life are the usual suspects.  Family is everything.  Friends will come and go in your life.  They will surprise you and dissappoint you and I have found that old friends are the lasting friendships in your life. 
   To all the young ladies out there, cherish your hormones.  I don't ever want to hear anyone complain about their period.  It is your crown, your fountain of youth.  It is the portal to creating life and it is your life blood of your youth.  I always thought age was something that happened to somebody else.  I kept it together pretty darn good for at least 55 yrs, but eventually my well ran dry and I do mean dry.  When your hormones leave you, it is like you actually dry up inside.  I wish I could put a funny spin on this, but I can't.  Its just the way it is.  I guess I could take hormonal supplements, but that scares me too.  It is the circle of life and has been going on for all of time.  It is just my turn now and even though I yearn for the way I was, I am determined to embrace the way I am now and make the most of my life.

 

The first blog...

I have so many thoughts running through my head most days...that I have trouble sleeping.  Now menopause may be part of the reason and then my anxiety would probably be the rest.  I'm 58 yrs old, but my mind feels alot younger than that.  I would imagine I am not alone when I say, " I hate growing older".  It sucks, that is for sure.  I am going to try and grow old gracefully.  I figure if I am the best that I can be at the age that I am, it will be alright.  Trouble is, I know that I could be better.  My energy level is not what it used to be and I hurt in places that I never knew you could hurt.  I would exercise, but I might spill my coffee...LOL! It takes twice as long to look half as good.  I can't complain though, I'm still healthy.  I have a wonderful husband that I love more than life itself.  I have two children, that have given me three beautiful grandchildren.  I babysit for them, so I am busy.  They bring smiles to my day and keep me active.  As I continue with my blog, I am sure I will share lots of stories.  My little grandaughter is quite a little character and my two grandsons I'm sure will eventually tie me up to a tree in the backyard someday.  I guess that is enough for now.  Check back with me later...growing old sucks, but if you know you aren't alone and you can laugh at it, maybe it won't suck as bad.   bye for now!