Last call for MILF....

MILF,  I was called that once and didn't have a clue what it was, then I found out....I was flattered...LOL!  We went to see the original MILF last night...Stifler's Mom from American Pie.  She was NOT what we thought she would be...FUNNY!  I guess if you like self deprecating crude humor, you would like it.  We couldn't quite get past her outfit that she wore.  Horizontal striped spandex just doesn't look good on anybody and if you are 50 and overweight, it really isn't appealing.  She kept pulling at it all night and acted like she wasn't comfortable in it either.  If you are going to wear something like that you just have to OWN it!
   I got my hair cut yesterday and I must say, I was pleased with the outcome.  When she asked me how I wanted it cut, I told her to just take 10 yrs. off.  I'm not sure if 10 yrs. came off, but it definitely was an improvement.  All women stress over their hair.  I don't think any of us are ever happy with it and if we are, it grows out and then we have to start all over again.  Some women just keep the same haircut for their whole life.  It's all about feeling comfortable and safe.  I know one hair cut decade I don't want to go back to, its the 80's....perms and highlights and trying to look like Farah Fawcett...LOL!  Change is good, and one thing about hair, it grows back.  I love those makeover shows where they take a lady that has had the same hair do since the 70's and she comes out looking like one HOT Momma!  I'd love that! 
I would just love someone else to tell me what would look good, what to wear and how to have my hair.  Since that is probably never going to happen, I just keep changing it up, hoping to get back to the MILF that I used to be.  I think the last call has came and went on that one.
   My hip flexor muscle pull is getting better and I have put away my frozen peas.  It still lets me know it is there, but at least I am not hobbled anymore.  I really want to get back to walking again.  I guess from now on I will have to treat walking like an athlete training for a triathelon.  I will have to warm up and do stretches before I take off walking.  Things have changed and I must act accordingly.
But even as things change, like my body and its aches and pains, my face and hair, with its wrinkles and sags and the texture of my hair, some things will always stay the same.  The way I feel about things, my zest for life and I will forever be that same little girl from the farm on Fir rd. in Tippecanoe, Indiana.

The new Sexy....

Had a realization this morning as I watched a Depends commercial.  Sexy is taking on a whole new meaning.  Baby boomers are a huge part of the population and marketers are zeroing in on us.  Now they are trying to convince us that wearing adult diapers can be "sexy".  They have now made Depends in colors and more streamlined.  It showed a woman of age, walking down the sidewalk, just looking "marvelous".  It almost made you wish you wet your pants to wear them.  It seems like everything is taking on a sexual undertone.  There is a toilet paper that is suppose to make you feel sexy and ready to "switch" things up.  It appears that there is big business in bowel movement too.  Like the laxative that makes you break out in dance with, "I feel good...dodododo".  Don't get me started on that little blue pill for men that they advertise the heck out of.  I have even seen a commercial for a male enhancement thing.
The Doctor shows that they have on TV now are all obsessed with bowel movement.  I now know what Oprah's poop looks like and how often she goes.  Information I really didn't need to know.  A friend of mine told me that the Doctors had a show talking about sagging (down there).  I can't take it anymore.  If I find out one more disgusting thing, I'm gonna blow.  How did our parents and grandparents get through this growing old thing?  I don't remember my Mom obsessing about it.  I believe it is because of the media and how they exploit it.  Can't we all just grow old gracefully...I doubt very much that an 80 yr. old woman is worried about whether her Depends are sexy or not.  I suppose maybe I will sing a different tune when I'm 80.  As a society, I really think we are too obsessed with sex.  If you think about it, most everything has sex in it.  People are getting rich off of our insecurities about growing older.  This last little setback of mine with the hipflexor has made me realize that I really am getting old.  I remember when I was younger I used to look at older people and think, I will never let that happen to me.  I will never wear high waisted jeans and granny panties.  I will never get too many wrinkles and I will always wear a two piece bathing suit.  Age has a way of creeping up on you and hitting you right upside the head.  I must always remember to sparkle, even if I'm wearing hot pink Depends. 

Frozen peas in my pants...

This is what it has come to...frozen peas in my pants.  I could NOT feel older.  I went walking this morning with friends.  I have been trying to walk 2 miles a day, 3 times a week.  Not exactly training for a marathon here, just trying to exercise a little bit.  After our 2 mile walk this morning, I noticed my hip was hurting in a way I have never felt before.  I finally got home and sat down for a little bit and when I tried to get back up, well lets just say it was NOT pretty.  I have never felt so old in my whole life.  My daughter was here and she was laughing at me.  She said it looks like I have a hip flexor pull.  I googled it and sure enough, that is what I have.  They said the only thing you can do is ice it down and quit doing what you were doing that caused it.  Trying to put ice on your hip is not easy, but I decided that a bag of frozen peas in my pants might just do the trickand it did.  I guess I will have to put off my walking for awhile, which really bums me out.  I have really enjoyed it.  On the upside today, I went to get my eyes checked and got a new more stylish pair of glasses.  The Dr. told me the reason I am not seeing very well is that my glasses are too strong for me.  I couldn't believe it.  I have something on my body that is actually improving with age.  Who knew????  I guess if the worst thing that has happened to me is a pulled hip flexor, I guess I should consider myself lucky.  Some people might not like the frozen peas in their pants, but I say, what the heck, it feels kinda good.  Have a good weekend everybody!

50 is NOT the new 30...

I haven't written a blog for awhile because I only write when I have a topic I want to talk about.  I was watching the Today show this morning and there was a woman who had written a book called, "Between a Rock and a Hot Place".  Her take was that 50 is NOT the new 30.  I totally agree with her.  Anyone who believes this, is in major denial of the fact that they are aging.  I know how I looked and felt in my 30's and I DO NOT feel or look the same way.  My brain may think the same way, but even that, has altered some. In your 30's you are caring for your small children.  In your 50's you are caring for people, but most likely, it is your parents.  The tables have turned and now it is your turn to take care of them.  For me though, I lost both my parents when I was 34 and Rich's Dad lived to be 93 yrs. old and was completely on his own.  He died in his chair, watching TV.  Wouldn't we all like to be that lucky.  I know that is how Rich would like to go.  In your 50's you should probably be more active in your sports or exercise, but your body has aches and pains that you never knew you could have.  In your 30's you have all the energy you could ever want, but your life is so busy with your job and your children, that there is little time to spend on yourself.  If I could go back in time, I would definitely enjoy myself a little more, make a little bit more love and not be so hard on myself.  The movie stars that look so good, look good because they have spent the MONEY to look that good.  Trainers and botox can do wonders for your appearance, but can they make your knees and back not hurt? I totally think that you can put your best foot forward and look younger, which is what I try to do.  Wearing frumpy clothes and dressing like an old fuddy duddy will only get you older quicker.  I used to wear things that totally weren't comfortable, but oh, they made me look good.  Now, if it is not comfortable, I won't wear it.  It is a challenge shopping now.  They need to make a store called, "Comfortable yet Stylish".  I would buy stock in it.  As I said in my other blog, aging is a privledge and every decade has a sweet spot.  I hope you all find your sweet spot and enjoy the moment of life that you are in!

Double Meanings....

I was thinking the other night, after somebody said a phrase I had heard many times before, how different that phrase means, now that I am older.  I decided it would be my next topic for the blog.  Here are a few double meaning phrases.

All nighter-
When you are young:  Bar hopping til dawn
When you are old:  Sleeping straight through the night without getting up to pee.

Letting off a little steam-
When you are young:  Partying with friends
When you are old:  Passing gas

Getting lucky-
When you are young:  Morning sex
When you are old:  Finding some money in your pocket

Style-
When you are young:  Anything that makes you look good
When you are old:  Anything that is comfortable

Snap, Crackle, Pop-
When you are young:  Rice Krispie Cereal
When you are old:  Getting up from a kneeling position

Sexy Underwear-
When you are young:  Thong
When you are old:  Doesn't exist

Full of it-
When you are young:  Ornery, free spirit
When you are old:  Constipation

Road Rage-
When you are young:  What you feel towards people that drive too slow
When you are old:  You are the cause of it

These are just a few of the double meanings that I could think of.  If any of you have some you would like to share, please leave them in the comment section.  A funny story that happened a few years ago on one of our cruises is pretty embarrassing, but I am a firm believer that if you can laugh at yourself, then nothing is that bad.  It was one of the formal nights on the cruise and we had finished our meal and was going up to one of the dessert buffets they had set up.  We were with some people that we had hooked up with on the ship.  I was in my cocktail dress and stiletto heels and feeling a little bit sexy.  I decided I wanted a little bit more of this one dessert, so I got up to go back to the buffet.  On my way there, I felt a sneeze coming on.  Not wanting to embarrass myself by sneezing, I tried to stop the sneeze.  Well, that was not one of my smarter things that I have ever done.  That sneeze had to go somewhere and it did...I passed gas.  I froze, I kept thinking, maybe nobody heard.  I slowly turned around to see Rich and the other couple laughing so hard they were crying.  I heard the guy say to Rich," Dude, did your wife just cut the cheese?"  There was a little waiter guy near by me and he was laughing too.  Well, ounce I started laughing, I couldn't stop either.  I figured all of us added a few years of life that night.  Laughing is good for the soul.  Moral to this story is, never hold in a sneeze and the phrase, "Letting off a little steam"  definitely had a double meaning that night.
 

Growing old is a privledge, not a birthright....

I haven't written a blog all week.  I just didn't have a topic I wanted to talk about.  This morning on Facebook, a notice about a really cool guy I went to school with, had passed away this morning.  Bill Wagoner was one of those guys in school that everyone knew because he was so cool.  He played in a band called The U.S. Male.  Bill was the first boy I ever kissed.  He probably would not even remember it, but girls tend to remember stuff like that.  I was in 6th grade at Tippecanoe Elementary and we consolidated three other schools, so all these other kids came to our school for Junior High.  Well, he was a grade older than me, so to have an older guy like him, like a quiet 6th grader like me, was really something.  I believe there was a dance when it happened, he kissed me.  Not a lingering kiss, just a little quick kiss, but to me, at 12 yrs. old, it was the biggest thing.  I must say, I was the envy of my friends.  I think we broke up right after that, because I really don't have any other memories of me and Bill, but I always thought so much of him.  Which brings me to my topic:  Growing old is a privledge, not a birthright.  I was watching Oprah today on aging SuperModels and I think all of them are fighting it with whatever it takes to hold on to their youth.  Some looked better than others.  When Oprah asked Cheryl Tieg if SuperModels have a harder time growing older, she said, "Growing old is a privledge, not a birthright".  That really hit home with me after learning this morning that Bill Wagoner had died.  Every single one of us that have passed the half century mark, have noticed the drastic changes that have occurred in us.  Women, probably more than men.  If you think about growing older as a privledge, it makes you see how lucky you are.  So many people, lose their lives so early and never get to fully enjoy their grandchildren or the retirement that they have earned.  I have struggled with the changes in me these last couple years, but I think I have finally accepted that I have moved onto the next stage of my life.  That doesn't mean I can't miss what once was.  Believe it or not, I used to turn a head in my day and I do miss that.  I have a husband that loves me and accepts me for who I am and loves me anyway.  I posted this on my status today:  Life is a struggle with sprinkles of joy.  That is just the way life is.  Struggles are so much a part of life, everyone has them, but if we can concentrate and cherish our sprinkles, those struggles are easier to bear.  I have decided that I will sparkle as much as I can.  I can remember the way I was, but be happy for who I am now.  We will miss you Bill....

I posted two of my favorite pictures of myself.  Both were taken on cruises.  The first one was on our Hawaiian Cruise in 2003 and the other was on our Jamaica Cruise in 2000. I can remember what it was like to be young and thin, and even though my stomach doesn't look like that anymore, I'm still the same person on the inside.  The one upside to this growing old thing....if I want that cookie, I eat it now...how much damage can I do.  Have a good weekend everyone and do a little sparkling!  After I posted these pictures, I'm having second thoughts about posting them...but I don't know how to get them off without losing my whole blog that I wrote...my insecurity is getting the best of me.  yikes!