So this is 60....

   Its been way too long since I wrote in my blog.  Turning 60 is one of the BIG birthdays in your life.  Its big for lots of reasons.  Its a big number....but it also reaffirms that you are really getting old.  For all you out there that are young and think that you will never get old....I am just here to tell you, that I was you, not that long ago.  For such a very long time...you just don't seem to age.  I remember my 20's as being so hard.  We were having babies and building houses.  I hardly remember them, but I LOVED my 30's.  They were the BEST.  Every year, from here on out, just got better.  Sure there were ups and downs....but physically, things just got better.  Being 40 never bothered me....it was no different than turning 30.  I didn't feel any different and I didn't look any different.  At this point I am thinking....this aging thing isn't so bad.  When I turned 50, it took me by surprise, because again....I didn't feel any different or really look any different.  Age in your middle years, doesn't seem to matter, but now that I am 60, I finally feel my age and look my age. My brick wall hit me at 55....its called menopause.  Every year since then....I have seen a difference.  For so long, you just seem to always be the same, but once you reach 60, you see yourself age.  Things that didn't hurt before, suddenly hurt.  We were all laughing about the commercials for Depends....Rich says alot of football players are doing commecials for them.  Seriously...if you need Depends, you aren't gonna care that much how they look, only THAT THEY WORK.  Someone I know said there is no excuse for not exercising and eating right and JUST DOING IT.  Well, when I was in my 40's...I said the same thing.  I eat better than I ever have, but exercising, is a personal thing to each person.   No one knows the pain and the energy level of that person and until you walk in their shoes....you just can't pass judgement.  I have a really good friend who is in his 60's and he has really been exercising alot, so much in fact that he has hurt his knee.  Strenuous exercise is good, but when you push yourself too far, your body will let you know and you will have to pay for it for a long time.   You just don't bounce back like you use to.  It really sucks, but I think the whole aging process is just that....a PROCESS by which you are made to accept the fact that you are getting old.  My body maybe be aging, but my brain still remains young.  I am finding more comfort in the little things of life.  A good healthy meal and sitting outside or in our hot tub.  Traveling is still important to me...but I know that at some point...it will just be too hard, so we will do alot of traveling the next 10 yrs.  I find that my family and my home are what bring me the most joy.  I'm looking forward to Rich retiring....I never thought I would say those words...and I am not sure what it will look like.  Rich has always been such a worker and so successful...I am sure he will find something else to do, but I don't think he will ever be able to leave it totally.  I just hope he can find a good balance and he can actually enjoy his retirement that he has earned.  I just want to be the BEST that I can be and do what I can to retain what I have and slow the process down.  I want to be around to hold my great grandchildren someday.  So I will laugh at myself more often,do the things that I have been wanting to do and  tell those I love that I love them more.  I will keep taking pictures and writing in my blog.  These are the things that will live on after I am gone.

Please shoot me if you see me at Meijers dressed like this...

Getting ready for a grocery run kinda looks like this....Feeding both boys breakfast and if I have leftover pancakes from the day before, it goes alot quicker...While they are eating, I have about 15 minutes of Facebook time, so I'm catching the news and catching up with FB world.  Now I get their clothes laid out and the fun begins...Nick wants to go the opposite way of me, so I have to go catch him.  He needs his diaper changed and not too lucky this morning....there is a load waiting for me.  But I always look on the bright side...could have happened at the store, better now than later.  Ok, now I need to get Sean dressed....no surprises with Sean....he's easy to dress.  Well, the boys are ready, so now I go work on me...No time for a shower, so how I am is just going to have to do.  I remember a time, not that long ago, that I would put blush and lip gloss on, just to go to the mail box.  A shopping trip involved freshly washed hair, makeup and a cute outfit with a cute pair of boots and coat...but now I look in the mirror, wash my face and I'm more concerned if I plucked good last night.  I do put some lotion on my face....a little blush and lip gloss and call it good to go.  I have my favorite micro fiber jammie pants on that I bought on Black Friday.  I really don't want to take them off, but I do and I grab my favorite jeans.  I also bought these awsome moccasin shoe/slipper  things that I am finding myself wearing all the time...I call them shoes because they have a rubber sole, but they have shearling inside and all around the outside, so who am I kidding, they are house slippers.  I have been wearing these out of the house shopping lately, telling myself that people wear Ugg boots, so why can't I wear these.  They are so comfortable, so comfort trumps style at 60.  Well, we made it to Meijers and with one boy on each hand, we go in...I put Nicky in the seat and Sean goes in the cart...I may not go to LA Fitness, but I am lifting weights daily.  Both boys are good, but Mimi doesn't leave the house without sippy cups full of apple juice and a bag of munchies.  Didn't need a whole lot today so we are making our way to checkout when I spot my future...there she was....she had on my micro fiber jammies and house slippers on.  I just gasped and a cold chill ran through me...that could have been me accept for the  jeans.  I almost went out of the house like that.  I swore to myself....I would never NOT care that much.  I didn't even see any kids with her, so she really had no excuse...I at least had a two year old and a three year old.  I also decided my shoe/slippers were really slippers and I won't wear them out and about anymore.  Maybe I will go out and look for a pair that is that comfortable that don't look like house slippers so much.
Who knows what her story really is, she might have been sick and just went out for medicine....so I guess I shouldn't judge, but seriously, if anyone sees me in micro fiber jammies and house slippers, please take me home...I'm confused and probably senile and need some help.

Leaving footprints...

It has been so long since last I blogged.  I have so many more thoughts going through me right now.   Losing Aleta so suddenly, has made us all face our mortality.  She was only 6 yrs. older than me.  Her sisters went through her pictures for her funeral and after the funeral, I got a little bag of pictures that were hers and a box of unused Greeting cards that she never got around to sending.   It made me think about what I wanted to leave.  Everyone knows there will be pictures....lots and lots of pictures...probably not that many of me, but lots of pictures of everyone else.  You leave this world with exactly what you come into this world with....nothing, but when you leave, you leave your shell and your soul will soar.  All our life we accumulate things.  I used to collect bears and little houses, but thank goodness I quit that.  The only thing I have been passionate about my whole life is my photography.  I have been doing it for 50 yrs. now. .I am getting so much enjoyment and satisfaction lately, with the revival of my photography business.  It just makes me so happy to capture those pictures for people, that mean so much to them.  Long after I am gone, my pictures will remain and bring joy to someone.  The one thing that you can leave behind that would bring comfort to your loved ones, is your words.  When my Mom died, she gave me two cards, one for Regan who was 10 and one for Seth who was 7.  They were to be given to them on their graduation day.  I waited 8 yrs. to give Regan her card and was so excited to see what Mom wrote, but Mom wasn't a writer like me, all she wrote was...I love you and I am so proud of you...Mom Mom.  Even those few words filled me with such joy.  This is why I started my blog, it was just a way for me to write down all my stories and thoughts and feelings.   Someday, I will have them made into a book and my grandchildren and great grandchildren will be able to know me once more.  Things are just that...things.  They mean something only to you for the moment that you buy them.  Most things just collect dust and become clutter.  I will not be buying anymore things from now on, only things for those that I love.  Oh I will still buy clothes occassionally, but even they don't bring me joy like they used to.  I am reading the book The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren.  I wouldn't say I am the most religious person in the world, but I am trying.  I feel this need to understand God and find out some answers to my questions.  I read the first chapter last night and it starts out saying the average life is 25,550 days...I did the math on me...and I am at 21,900...I certainly hope I have more days than this, but a guarantee is not given to anyone, not even the young.
   A very close friend of mine wrote this poem when Aleta died...I want it read at my party when I die.

                     And if I go, while you are still here,
                 know that I live on vibrating to a different measure
                 behind a veil you cannot see through.
                     You will not see me, so must have faith.
                 I will wait for the time when we all can soar together again,
                 all of us aware of each other.  Until then,
                      live your life to its fullest and when you need me,
                 just whisper my name in your heart....I will be there.

Its funny how I remember so vividly how I felt when I was younger....because this being older just kinda crept up me when I wasn't looking.  I am still trying to accept it and get used to it, but its kinda like going incognito...older people become invisible sometimes.  I miss the head turns and my size 6 butt.  I miss dressing up for grand soirees and cruise ship formal nights.  I am just grateful that I had these times and I did appreciate them when they were happening.  God has a pretty good plan....life has an expiration date, but when you are young, you don't fully comprehend it.  Growing old is a gradual thing and if you are lucky, and you get to grow old, by the end, just like a much loved toy....it eventually wears out and you know its time to let go.  I'm not saying I'm ready to let go...I just hope I have been like a much loved toy....play with me and love me, but when its time...let me go...just whisper my name in your heart....and I will be there.  I will be leaving my footprints wherever I can...I guess my biggest fear is, that tomorrow will come and no one will remember that I am not here.

Just another day....NOT!!!!

Well, its been a little while since I blogged.  I have all three kids sleeping at the same time, so I thought I would write about the day I have had....

   Regan called me this morning and told me that Karaline was so sick.  She was crying out that her ear hurt so bad and she had a fever, so she couldn't send her to school.  I needed to call first thing to get her into the Dr.  I did and we got an appointment for 10:30.  I managed to get all three kids breakfast and dressed and I even jumped into the shower and got myself ready.  I loaded up a few things in my arsenal of things to get us through this Dr.'s appt.  We get there and the fun began...the Dr.'s office has one main waiting room for all the Dr.s so it is a big massive area.  Perfect for running...and running they did...If I wasn't yelling at one to stop it, I was yelling at the other...Nick bumped his head at one point and then proceeded to melt down.  I hit my arsenal bag...a cookie made the screaming stop.  Fortunately, there weren't many people in the waiting room...but the receptionists in the other offices, just kinda gave me sympathy looks.  Nick saw a vendor guy and went over to check things out....he had been looking at the boys running around...I went to get him and he says to me, "looks like you have your hands full"  I said, " you have no idea...pray for me".  We finally get called back into the Dr.  I herd everyone along and I tell the nurse..."just close the door, how bad can this be?"  she laughed...yeah...I'm serious..  Well, what seemed like forever, the Dr. finally came in...the boys were really winding down at this point.  She looked at Karaline and listened to her chest...she didn't like what she heard and ordered a breathing treatment...OK....now what...this was painless for Karaline, but it did take about 10 minutes to do....so as a last resort, I dug out my final thing left in my arsenal...dumdum suckers...sticky yes, messy yes, but it got us through that test.  The nurse came in to check on us...She said, "I wondered why it got so quiet...now I understand"  I told her, " I'm in desperation mode right now".  The fun isn't over yet, because now I have to go to Meijers and get the prescriptions filled, so off we go.  Karaline is pretty quiet, so she is no trouble...You can tell she doesn't feel good.  I load them into one of those carts with a seat...but of course...I pick the one with a bad wheel...so it pushes so hard.  I can only imagine how pathetic I looked.  We go directly to the pharmacy...fortunately the wait wasn't too long, so we got going as fast as we could..  I noticed as were walking to the door, it looked so dark outside.  Well, by the time I made it outside, the sky just opened up.  It could not be raining any harder...Crap....now what.  I just couldn't take the kids out in the downpour, but I needed to get them home.  A nice man saw my plight and said just leave the kids here and go get your car...I'll wait with them...what a blessing, so I ran as fast as I could, but still got totally drenched.  Just par for the course today.  We made it home...got them all fed lunch.  Gave Karaline her medicine and then she wanted to lay down to take a nap.  I put Nicky down for his nap and he went right to sleep.  Then we were down to Sean...I let him watch one Dora and then I put him to bed.  He went right to sleep.  Its 2:00 and all three kids are asleep and I am feeling pretty good about myself...Not all 60 yr. old Mimi's could have pulled that off.  Let's hear it for the old girl...she's still got it!!!!

60 is Sexy...

Today I begin to enjoy my last week of being in my 50's.  I am trying to decide what to do.  Should I wear a tube top one more time or maybe wear some hip-huggers?  I have thought about a tatoo or maybe re-pierce my ears again.  I used to love to dress up...maybe I'll wear one of my cocktail dresses and heels and go out to lunch.  I just realized, that I am becoming a senior once again...I remember being a senior in high school.  Doesn't seem like that long ago.  I went to a concert the other night.  They played all the current songs that you hear on the radio, but they also played music from when I was a teenager.  It was awsome to see the young people singing along.  It made me feel young again and I hope it makes the young people realize that us old farts, aren't so old after all.  I keep telling myself....age is just a number, attitude is what counts.  I don't feel like I am 60, but then what should 60 feel like?  I remember when I turned 50, I thought that was so old.  I can remember saying these words, "50 is nifty, but 60 will suck".  I've decided to say, "60 is sexy." Now that I have rediscovered my "inner goddess", maybe I can pull it off.  I honestly never thought I would get old...isn't that ridiculous?  I just always thought I would be the way I always was.  I have been one way for at least 30 yrs. now, so I guess I better get used to being the way I am now.  I am grateful that I am healthy and I am thankful that I am celebrating my 60th.  Growing old is not guaranteed....it is a privledge.  If you look at it like that, maybe I will wear my tube top and hip huggers and sing a little Three Dog Night.

The awakening of my "inner goddess"...

   We made it back home and what a great homecoming it was.  We waited for our bags, which surprisingly appeared after three plane changes and 12 hrs.  We go out by the curb to wait for Regan and the kids.  All of a sudden we hear PA...MIMI!!!!  and our little Karaline is running as fast as she can into our arms...Sean is following right behind her.  It almost felt like slow motion for a little bit.  I started crying and Karaline says, "Mimi, why are you crying?" and I say, "because I'm so happy and I missed you" and she says, "Me too".  

   I left my home and Indiana two weeks ago...pretty burned out.  I tried not to build the trip up in my mind too much, because so often when you do, it fails to live up to your expectations.  This trip was different in so many ways.  Usually, Rich and I get on each other's nerves after awhile and the time just seems to fly by.  This vacation was so different.  The time just seemed to stand still for us.  We laughed more than we ever had and just enjoyed being together.  Rich really seemed to relax, which is hard for him.  He was on his phone for a bit each day, checking in with his e-mails and Seth, but basically, he let all his stress go and he enjoyed himself so much.  I came back with the best tan of my life and my friend Shelby will approve I think.  I just did it a little bit at a time.  I never at any time got even the least bit pink.  There is just something about the Hawaiian sun.  Oh you can get burned...I saw many people that were.  You can lay out in the sun and never sweat...and every little bit, you feel this mist.  You look up in the sky and wonder where it is coming from, because it is all blue skies and sunshine and then you see a beautiful rainbow.  How can this place not be heaven on earth.

   For those of you who have read 50 Shades of Grey, you know what I mean by "inner goddess".  Now, I hope I don't gross out any of you young people who might be reading this, especially my kids.  But, contrary to what you might think....older people do have sex too.  My "inner goddess" has been comatose for awhile. It felt good to wake her up again and rediscover what it feels like to be young and in love again.  50 Shades of Grey was a bit over the top and I still prefer "vanilla", and those of you who have read the book, know what I mean.  I only got to read the first book, so maybe I can keep my "inner goddess" going for awhile longer yet, as I keep reading the books.  Rich got through all three of the Hunger Game books.  He really enjoyed that...do I dare turn him onto 50 Shades?  I think not, I can only handle one of us with an inner goddess....LOL

   I went to bed last night at about 8:00pm , but I was up at about 3:30 am.  I think it is gonna take awhile to get my inner clock reset.  I feel really rested right now, so I thought it would be a good time to blog.  Lots of unpacking and laundry.  Rich and I both said that we took way too many clothes this time.  I took several dresses and two pair of high heels...never wore any of that.  We were in our bathing suits alot and just our casual clothes.  Comfort is the most important thing.  

   While we were gone, we had time to discuss lots of things...we have decided that we will take each one of our grandkids on a cruise when they turn 7 yrs. old.  That means Karaline will be going on a cruise this year with us.  We want to do something special with each child so they will always remember it.  We think 7 is a good age.  They will be old enough to remember it and young enough to want to spend the time with Mimi and Pa.  Plus we will still be young enough to enjoy it with them.  Pa wants to take them snorkeling.  We will go somewhere in the Carribean because the plane trip to Maui, is just too long for a little kid.

   So, I feel like a new woman, ready to tackle the rest of the year.  My Regan is a teacher, so this fall, I will have Nicky full time.  I told Regan that Nick will think he is in boot camp.  He is so dependent on his Momma.  This will be good for both of them.  Life is like a box of chocolates...you just never know what you are gonna get.  I got to sample quite a few this trip and I hope I still have a few more to sample.  ALOHA AND MAHOLO  everyone, for taking the time to read my blog.  I love you all.

Today we leave Maui and I know a little bit of of my heart will stay here.  We met lots of people that come here every year, but we both said, we wouldn't want to do that.  The magic we felt the first couple days was something that we will never experience again.  It will always be beautiful, but all the magic that happened this time, will never happen again.  Seeing that sunrise on top of Haleakala was amazing, but seeing it a second time would probably not be something I would even want to do.  We said we would come back on our 45th Anniversary.  By then, we will need a little magic again.
   Rich and I both said it was fun acting like we were young and in love again.  We friended a young couple here at Kahanna Falls who are on their Honeymoon.  I took some pictures of them with their camera.  They couldn't believe that we were married 40 yrs.  I told them, it seems like just yesterday that we were young like they are now.  It goes by so quickly.  Rich and I have recharged our tanks and we're ready to embrace our lives again.  Routine is comforting, like a favorite old chair, but every once in awhile...you have to get out of your comfort zone and experience new things.  I tried snorkling...I really thought I could do it, but I was so terrified.  I was pathetic.  There was this big ole Texan guy named Mike and he was bound and determined to get me out there.  There was another older lady on the boat too, but I would say she was at least 10-15 yrs. older, so poor Mike, he was stuck with Becki and Sue.  Sue told me she had heart disease and couldn't use the snorkle.  I tried the snorkle mask, but wasn't talented enough to breath thru the snorkle. I did see some fish and the beautiful coral..It reminded me of a 3-D movie.  It was hilarious...I had three noodle things to keep me a float and was holding on to Mike for dear life.  I kept saying Oh God, Oh God and Sue was riding his back, it was the funniest thing I had ever seen.  We were two pathetic women, but Mike just kept trying to get us as comfortable with the water as he could, but I just could not overcome my fear.  I am usually not one to give up, but I was also sea sick, so I just wanted out of the water.  Rich had a GREAT time and I was so happy for that.  Rich is just such a thrill seeker, I used to be able to keep up with him, but not anymore.  I will just take pictures of him...LOL
   I am really looking forward to seeing Regan and the kids at the airport.  I know Karaline will come running into our arms with lots of kisses.  It will be wonderful to see Sean and Amber and Seth too.  We did manage to do Facetime with Amber on her phone, so we got to see Sean.  Technology is a wonderful thing.
   I'm glad our plane leaves at 9:00 at night...hopefully, we will sleep most of the way and maybe beat the jet lag.
   Kat said I need to snap out of it because I am coming back to the dry tundra.  I will always remember the misty showers that would happen several times a day when the sun was shining and after the shower a beautiful rainbow would happen.  Maui is truly paradise and I will miss it, but keep it close to my heart.