I hope I purr....

We just said our good-bye to our beautiful big Max....It was such a hard thing to do.  Max was there with us purring and wanting to be petted.   I wish he looked more sickly and appeared to be suffering more....it would have been so much easier.   We spoke with Dr  Carter extensively and asked every question we could think of.   We asked what it would be like in the end for Max if we just let it go.   He said it would be a very painful slow death.   Max was already sending out the signs that it was nearing the end.   He retreated to the bathtub where he found comfort and solitude and started doing some very bizaare things that just was not like him....like eating cat litter.   He had pretty much stopped eating and drinking and all he did was just lay in the bathtub...he didn't even want me to hold him for very long.   Not much of a life and watching him go through this was not easy on me either.   Rich and I decided together that ending his life before the decline begins and the end happens would be the kindest thing for him.   Dr. Carter gave Max the shot....and I wrapped my arms around him and just hugged him closely....he just laid there in my arms and purred....I told him the story about how I heard about Ragdolls in Oprah's Favorite things.   Then I researched it and wanted a Ragdoll even more.   Then the next Sunday in the paper, I just happened to see an ad in the paper for Ragdoll kitties for sale.  I called her and she still had the kitties.  She was a vet and had been a breeder of Ragdolls for 17 yrs.   I went all by myself to get Max....it was north of Lafayette.  I remember going into her office and seeing the four little kitties, but Max was the biggest one and clearly....he was the one for me.  I was so proud and so excited about my little Ragdoll kitten.   Max was my grandbaby so to speak....we all loved him so much....later that year, I was blessed with Karaline.   Oh how Max loved the babies....he would lay with Regan while she nursed Karaline.   Max would lay with Karaline and watch over her, just like a dog.   He was the most loving and wonderful cat and we will miss him so much.  As I laid with him and my tears made his face wet, I know that he knew he was loved and I knew I made him comfortable in my arms.  I hope that is the way I get to go someday....purring and being in the arms of the person I love the most.