Please shoot me if you see me at Meijers dressed like this...

Getting ready for a grocery run kinda looks like this....Feeding both boys breakfast and if I have leftover pancakes from the day before, it goes alot quicker...While they are eating, I have about 15 minutes of Facebook time, so I'm catching the news and catching up with FB world.  Now I get their clothes laid out and the fun begins...Nick wants to go the opposite way of me, so I have to go catch him.  He needs his diaper changed and not too lucky this morning....there is a load waiting for me.  But I always look on the bright side...could have happened at the store, better now than later.  Ok, now I need to get Sean dressed....no surprises with Sean....he's easy to dress.  Well, the boys are ready, so now I go work on me...No time for a shower, so how I am is just going to have to do.  I remember a time, not that long ago, that I would put blush and lip gloss on, just to go to the mail box.  A shopping trip involved freshly washed hair, makeup and a cute outfit with a cute pair of boots and coat...but now I look in the mirror, wash my face and I'm more concerned if I plucked good last night.  I do put some lotion on my face....a little blush and lip gloss and call it good to go.  I have my favorite micro fiber jammie pants on that I bought on Black Friday.  I really don't want to take them off, but I do and I grab my favorite jeans.  I also bought these awsome moccasin shoe/slipper  things that I am finding myself wearing all the time...I call them shoes because they have a rubber sole, but they have shearling inside and all around the outside, so who am I kidding, they are house slippers.  I have been wearing these out of the house shopping lately, telling myself that people wear Ugg boots, so why can't I wear these.  They are so comfortable, so comfort trumps style at 60.  Well, we made it to Meijers and with one boy on each hand, we go in...I put Nicky in the seat and Sean goes in the cart...I may not go to LA Fitness, but I am lifting weights daily.  Both boys are good, but Mimi doesn't leave the house without sippy cups full of apple juice and a bag of munchies.  Didn't need a whole lot today so we are making our way to checkout when I spot my future...there she was....she had on my micro fiber jammies and house slippers on.  I just gasped and a cold chill ran through me...that could have been me accept for the  jeans.  I almost went out of the house like that.  I swore to myself....I would never NOT care that much.  I didn't even see any kids with her, so she really had no excuse...I at least had a two year old and a three year old.  I also decided my shoe/slippers were really slippers and I won't wear them out and about anymore.  Maybe I will go out and look for a pair that is that comfortable that don't look like house slippers so much.
Who knows what her story really is, she might have been sick and just went out for medicine....so I guess I shouldn't judge, but seriously, if anyone sees me in micro fiber jammies and house slippers, please take me home...I'm confused and probably senile and need some help.

Leaving footprints...

It has been so long since last I blogged.  I have so many more thoughts going through me right now.   Losing Aleta so suddenly, has made us all face our mortality.  She was only 6 yrs. older than me.  Her sisters went through her pictures for her funeral and after the funeral, I got a little bag of pictures that were hers and a box of unused Greeting cards that she never got around to sending.   It made me think about what I wanted to leave.  Everyone knows there will be pictures....lots and lots of pictures...probably not that many of me, but lots of pictures of everyone else.  You leave this world with exactly what you come into this world with....nothing, but when you leave, you leave your shell and your soul will soar.  All our life we accumulate things.  I used to collect bears and little houses, but thank goodness I quit that.  The only thing I have been passionate about my whole life is my photography.  I have been doing it for 50 yrs. now. .I am getting so much enjoyment and satisfaction lately, with the revival of my photography business.  It just makes me so happy to capture those pictures for people, that mean so much to them.  Long after I am gone, my pictures will remain and bring joy to someone.  The one thing that you can leave behind that would bring comfort to your loved ones, is your words.  When my Mom died, she gave me two cards, one for Regan who was 10 and one for Seth who was 7.  They were to be given to them on their graduation day.  I waited 8 yrs. to give Regan her card and was so excited to see what Mom wrote, but Mom wasn't a writer like me, all she wrote was...I love you and I am so proud of you...Mom Mom.  Even those few words filled me with such joy.  This is why I started my blog, it was just a way for me to write down all my stories and thoughts and feelings.   Someday, I will have them made into a book and my grandchildren and great grandchildren will be able to know me once more.  Things are just that...things.  They mean something only to you for the moment that you buy them.  Most things just collect dust and become clutter.  I will not be buying anymore things from now on, only things for those that I love.  Oh I will still buy clothes occassionally, but even they don't bring me joy like they used to.  I am reading the book The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren.  I wouldn't say I am the most religious person in the world, but I am trying.  I feel this need to understand God and find out some answers to my questions.  I read the first chapter last night and it starts out saying the average life is 25,550 days...I did the math on me...and I am at 21,900...I certainly hope I have more days than this, but a guarantee is not given to anyone, not even the young.
   A very close friend of mine wrote this poem when Aleta died...I want it read at my party when I die.

                     And if I go, while you are still here,
                 know that I live on vibrating to a different measure
                 behind a veil you cannot see through.
                     You will not see me, so must have faith.
                 I will wait for the time when we all can soar together again,
                 all of us aware of each other.  Until then,
                      live your life to its fullest and when you need me,
                 just whisper my name in your heart....I will be there.

Its funny how I remember so vividly how I felt when I was younger....because this being older just kinda crept up me when I wasn't looking.  I am still trying to accept it and get used to it, but its kinda like going incognito...older people become invisible sometimes.  I miss the head turns and my size 6 butt.  I miss dressing up for grand soirees and cruise ship formal nights.  I am just grateful that I had these times and I did appreciate them when they were happening.  God has a pretty good plan....life has an expiration date, but when you are young, you don't fully comprehend it.  Growing old is a gradual thing and if you are lucky, and you get to grow old, by the end, just like a much loved toy....it eventually wears out and you know its time to let go.  I'm not saying I'm ready to let go...I just hope I have been like a much loved toy....play with me and love me, but when its time...let me go...just whisper my name in your heart....and I will be there.  I will be leaving my footprints wherever I can...I guess my biggest fear is, that tomorrow will come and no one will remember that I am not here.